i want twenty kids
i want one kid
i want a life partner without kids
i want a partner sometimes
i only want friends
i want to be alone
i do not want to live

if i just had
20 minutes of free time
i could
mentally prepare for death.

but i do not have
20 minutes of free time
so i live
in constant fear of death.

if i lived 1000 years i would:
speak 20 languages,
play 5 instruments,
master charcoal drawing,
design and build many houses,
work as a scientist for a century,
start at least 50 businesses,
write 20 books,
write 100,000 poems,
have 40 children,
compete in almost every sport…

for about a week
my bmi was 30.1.

i skipped two dinners,
went to the gym once,
did one 20 minute run,
and took a huge shit.

now my bmi is 29.9.
anyone can do it!

greatest pleasure
over the enemies
is when we hire them
for low wages
to do shitty jobs.
this is more pleasurable
than murder or rape
or any other violence
because it is
so long and constant.
to the winners
it can give
a 20 year orgasm.
as an employer
I have to fight
this instinct every day.
so far it never won.
maybe one day
it will.