thank you to 150 or so people
who liked my parenting poem
on instantgram.

if i could somehow convert you
to each of you giving me 10,000 usd
i could finally make that down payment
for my ass-to-lower back hair transplant.

i always wanted my lower back
to be as hairy as my ass
and you can make my dream come true.

i am thanking
whoever designed
something so beautiful
as ass cheeks
to hide something so nasty
as an asshole.

maybe it was
god, alines, or nature.
whoever it is,
i am sure they are
very clever designers.

random pseudo philosophical political rant
clouds
my kids
self-glorification
ass kissing
a call to call me

please let me know?

girls,
if a guy wants
to put a finger in your ass
this does not mean
he wants a finger up his ass.
you are welcome.

my existence
is divided in two parts:
before i used wet wipes
and my ass was
always somewhat dirty,
and
when i started using wet wipes
and my ass is clean.

i will be
your last friend
who licks your ass
after your
explosive spicy
bloody diarrhea.

i want to fuck you so bad
my eyes are leaking acid
and my ass smells like universe

when i get out of the shower
i first wipe my face
and then my stomach
my ass and legs
while i do this i think
how much it sucks
i was not born
ten thousand years ago
when i could kill people and animals
with random rocks
how boring it is to live
today with all these pussies
with all the luxuries
and this pussy ass internet
i wish i was in cold nature
where i could kill with my hands
or be killed and eaten
that would be awesome
how did we come
from ancient bloodbaths and struggles to
unfriend on facebook?

polka makes a lot of sense
when it is than
mustard is eating my brain
so now what
pokemon rules and dogs
do not care if cats
combined with cars
can go the distance
however if you are ever around
make sure potatos
are rotten
when you enter the castle of evil
forget the color of your underwear
sun is green only
when jupiter is on purple ice
rats are in my ass
colors are running away
tomorrow