sometimes,
when i need even more optimism,
i imagine tom cruise farting.

and not a cool comedy fart,
but a boring every day smelly fart
that no one notices but me.

during sex,
especially while getting oral sex,
during your wedding ceremony,
any public speaking,
job interview,
when sharing a jacuzzi or a pool,
while giving a funeral speech,
parent teacher meeting,
while running a marathon,
and many more.

all people fart
in average 37 liters of gas per day
and yet so many people
refuse to admit it
or do it publicly
or during sex.

if we were truly a modern species
it would not be a problem
to fart into a partner’s face
while they give us oral sex.

i am so smart
i could just explode

i am so smart
i should never die
and if i ever die
every second of my life
should be studied by
million scientists

i am so smart
that i can only
talk to
dolphins and aliens

i am so smart
so gods envy me

i am so smart
if you smell my fart
you can learn
all the secrets
of the universe

an average person
farts fourteen times a day
and creates maybe a litre of gas
multiply this by how many people
there are in this tiny atmosphere
and remember it next time
you complain about someone
farting next to you