i told rafael i will write a poem
about how miltos chose art
instead of a giros restaurant chain
but then i felt bad about making fun
of miltos’ horrible life choices
and decided not to write that poem

few days ago
for a brief moment
i felt a deep calm
about my death.
i somehow understood
that i will not exist.
i am not able
to describe it
but it is the first time
i accepted my death.
it lasted a second only
and now i am afraid again
but at least i know
i can be cool about dying.

i felt sorry
that i did not write
more poems this week
but then i realized
that when i am dead
no one will care
if i wrote one or hundred
poems in a week.

for a short moment last night
while watching a movie
i felt the emotion
commonly called “finding god”.
then i lost it.
it all happened in my head
and it was interesting.

i was walking down the stairs
and i felt how my socks were soft
and i felt good