spies learn
how to play tennis
because
if they are tortured
they can image
they are playing tennis
which will completely
occupy their mind
and they will ignore the pain.
if you do not believe me
ask any spy.

there is a reason
why we feel the pain
of every person we lost
every punch we gave
every insult we spoke
for our entire lives

some people
choose not to be parents
because the pain
of loving a child
is too much for them.

but when you ask them
they will tell you
that they prefer to travel.

list of consciousness levels
humans can reach
within a normal life time:

physical pain
overwhelming panic
constant trauma management
rejection of everything
robot behavior
pleasure chasing
efficient calculator
angry at the world
random realizations
aware of self
aware of all humans

there is nothing better
for figuring out life
than a bit of a random
chest pain and shortness of breath

sometimes
i enjoy thinking so much
that i start believing
i would be better off without a body
as a pure thought energy
drifting through the universe.

but then i remember
that without a body
i would miss hugging my kids so much
that i would feel thinking pain
for an entire eternity.

humans would rather
suffer the pain of
holding the diarrhea in
than
to take a shit in public

perfect time to die
is at the same time
as both of your parent die
without them knowing
that you die
when your kids are
mature enough to
tolerate the pain

pain on a tv
is much more bearable
than the pain
in the head

few extra kilos per year
back pain
maybe whiskey
definitely beer
german car
wake up alarm for sex
everything is a ten year plan
not giving a shit
pretending to not know
how to count to sixty

emotional connection
his own mortality
half of income is lost
no one to wash the dishes
the pain of new dating

i would not like
to have my penis cut off
by a cigar cutter
to fall face down and
break my teeth on a rock
to insult someone so much
that they never speak to me again
to have lumbal punction
or to burry my children
while dying of
a very painful cancer
while my wife is cheating
on me with my best friend
who owes me money