without social pressures
like commies and christians
the society would be ruled
by MMA fighters

the pressure to never tell a lie
only made us lie to ourselves
that a lie is not a lie

for many years
i washed my penis
in the bathroom sink.

before you judge me
this is our third bathroom,
the smallest one,
in my office,
that mostly i use,
and i always wash it well
after i wash my penis in it.

but i still felt guilty
that i never told this
to irena.
i never lie and
i also never withhold
important truth.

i was under pressure
for years
and it was, in a small way,
damaging our relationship,
but i was waiting for
the right moment to tell her.

and one day,
after we have not been together
for a long time,
we had impulsive dirty sex
in that bathroom,
and it made perfect sense
that i wash my penis in the sink
in front of her
and i casually told her
that i do this sometimes,
and i felt so relieved
that i was able to share this with her,
and the horrible pressure
was finally gone.

now i have to figure out
how to tell the kids.

ps
irena read this poem
and told me i already told her before.
but i forgot this.

pss
i realized our kids will
read this poem.

the pressure to
feel and think
one thing at a time
is the biggest oppression ever.
it is perfectly normal to
love and hate
the same thing at the same time.

the sensations of
pressure buildup
urgency
panic
blissful release and
final relaxation
can only be
truly verbalized
by a great poet