everybody agrees,
and everybody is
mike and me,
that you would be
a great mother.
so do it, janice!
have sex, give birth,
and be a great mother.
you can do it! now!

i am confused.
why is my dentist
always asking me
about my sex life?
what does my sex life
have to do with my dental care?
and why does he need
such level of detail?
he wants me to describe the smells!
is this a standard procedure?
can someone explain this?
thank you.

during sex,
especially while getting oral sex,
during your wedding ceremony,
any public speaking,
job interview,
when sharing a jacuzzi or a pool,
while giving a funeral speech,
parent teacher meeting,
while running a marathon,
and many more.

gender fluidity
is a step towards religious fluidity
is a step towards ideological fluidity
is a step towards national fluidity.

it is a bit weird to start with gender fluidity,
but at this point i am happy we started
to build a world which uses tags
instead of categories.

being just a bit scared of sex
is healthy.
when you stop being scared
you will start having bad sex
or even not have sex anymore.

using butter, mustard, and bbq sauce
in sex
is better than
having no sex at all.

one day
i will have
the last sex of my life

all people fart
in average 37 liters of gas per day
and yet so many people
refuse to admit it
or do it publicly
or during sex.

if we were truly a modern species
it would not be a problem
to fart into a partner’s face
while they give us oral sex.

if nature was not so stupid
we would not have
only female and male
but at least seven or eight genders
which would all need
to have sex together
to mix their dna
to make at least fifty babies.
or we would just split in half.

i watched a short porn film
about wife who has sex with many men
as a payment for her husband’s debt.

i was wondering:
how much was the debt?
what were the conditions of the debt?
why did they agree on the exchange for sex?
and how did they measure
the amount of sexual satisfaction
of all the creditors
as the replacement for the debt?

my wildest sex experience
was sex on a beach
all thirty of us were covered
with fly bear blood
and instead of cumshots
we had laser beams
that burned through the planet
and straight to another universe
and the sound of this massive shag
was so strong
that it went back in time
and altered history
and the air smelled so good
that everybody who smelled it
died instantly
it was very good sex

is as good
as much as
the first sex sucks

when the music is so loud
that you start crying blood
when you are so drunk
that you cut your fingers off
and you do not care
when sex is so good
that you puke on her face
and you both love it
when you wake up
raped, broke and without fingers
and you just want to
play videogames
that is a very good party

miltos manetas
mike calvert
rafael rozendaal
jimmy hendrix
george bush
nikola tesla
frodo baggins
donald duck
totoro
ponyo