sometimes
i imagine
another universe
in which my friends
who do not have kids
have kids
and are super happy.

this helps me cope
with sadness
that my friends
in this universe
do not have kids.

thank you henry rollins
for making the song “liar”
because it made me feel
like i am not the only one
who feels like that
sometimes.

sometimes
i just eat all of it
and leave nothing for kids

sometimes
i want to be a son again
and sometimes a father

sometimes
i want to be a soldier
and sometimes a pacifist

sometimes
i want to be a friend
and sometimes an enemy

sometimes it is too big
sometimes it is too small
sometimes it is too hard
sometimes it is to soft
sometimes it is the way i want it
but sometimes not

it is an organ on my body
which is not easy to talk to
i speak to it more than to my liver
but less than to my finger

it is not like an eye
which i can just move
whenever i want to
i hate not having full control
over my penis