guys,
real sexual maturity is achieved
only when you discover
when a woman is too pregnant for sex.

hundred little germans
walked down the street
and yelled loudly:
hale hit her!
hale hit her!
hale hit her!

and everyone thought
that they are nazis
but they are not.
they only want to
help a woman
who was hit by hale.

what happened next?

a sexy actress got
an important role
to play a paralyzed woman
and to play it better
she broke her own back
and this freaked out everyone
and they cancelled the movie.

my woman does not need to be beautiful
my woman does not need to be smart
my woman does not need to be rich
my woman does not need to be or do anything

if i were the coolest guy
on planet earth
i would drive the tank jeep
from aliens
and it would be painted by
salvador dali’s reincarnation
inside it would be covered by diamonds
and then by velcro
i would wear the original underwear
neil armstrong wore when he walked on moon
and i would talk only using
movie quotes
because my brain
would be instantly connected
to imdb.com
i would not use money
money would use me
my woman would be
the coolest woman on planet earth
but that is a subject
for another poem